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I quit all social media4/19/2023 ![]() ![]() I mentioned this a little before, but without the constant on-stream of other people’s thoughts and reels and captions and projects and families, I was freed up to just listen to myself. This actually helped me to like myself more, in all my normal-ness, with all the same human needs as everyone else, instead of constantly feeling like I am not enough or not doing enough. Instead of using those moments to potentially prove something to the people on Instagram, I was just there, looking at my kids faces, or cleaning dishes, or sitting on the porch - doing something wonderful, hard, boring, embarrassing, or normal. ![]() Oh my goodness, what a relief! Suddenly it wasn’t about doing things that would make cute instagram moments, but doing things that felt right for myself and my family in that moment. It took some time, but I really felt a breakthrough once I realized that I didn’t have that constant voice in my head pressuring me to document moments throughout my day (before I missed them!) I was allowed to just live them. It’s funny, how proving our connectedness can make ourselves, and others, feel so much less connected. I called it life without the fourth wall (if you have any theater in your background, you know the fourth wall is the imaginary wall of the stage into which the audience looks and towards which the actors play) and that’s exactly what it was! Just life being lived, non-performative. I should be taking a picture or video of this… I should be posting it… I should be posting this like so-and-so… I should know what so-and-so is up to…you know, this need to capture and prove my worth, time, and connectedness in some way. ![]() I think what this really stemmed from was an immediate release of the “should be” voice in my head. Unmistakably the most notable, and immediate, difference for me. Just me, my thoughts, John, and sweet sweet sleep. The whole “getting ready for bed” routine was pretty effortlessly phone-free, and included things like my nightly candle-and-shower, lotioning up, a big glass of water, and reading. Without social media, it wasn’t hard to just set my phone down before getting ready for bed, and not pick it up again until the next morning. Without the weight of the thoughts, actions, opinions, and goings-on of hundreds of people constantly playing through my mind, I found it infinitely easier to fall asleep and stay asleep. From there, I was better able to validate those things to myself. Without the extra noise of others’ lives, I became more attuned to my own voice, needs, and desires again. This practice helped me to listen to myself better. I started making decisions based on what I decided would be best for me and my family. Without any need to document, I was free to move about the cabin of my life exactly how I wanted and needed to. This looked like less having to “keep up” with lifestyle trends - for me those were clothing, home interiors, parenting, and seeing what friends were doing without me. It wasn’t about how I would document it - it was about being together. ![]() Also, when I connected with family or friends, I was all in on that moment, face to face. And when I did connect, I could start from square one, without knowing any social-media-derived tidbits of their life. Because I didn’t have a birds-eye view into everyone’s life, I was tasked to reach out directly if I wanted to connect with someone. The thing that I thought might be affected in a negative way was actually one of the main things that majorly benefitted. Your friendships and relationships will improve. Talk about an immediate boost of quiet and calm! So much less noise! All the other stuff, especially from people I don’t know in person, I really didn’t need to know. I didn’t want to be the one person that didn’t know what other people were talking about, or to miss out on things that family and close friends were posting (like their kiddos, projects, or thoughts.) But honestly? Once I let people know I wouldn’t be on socials, they didn’t expect me to know! And they were happy to fill me in in person. One of my biggest trepidations about quitting social media was the fear of missing out. Here are my top 10 takeaways on life without social media! ![]()
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